Okay, we know the Hudson River Valley isn’t in Philadelphia. But last night, we saw a series of tweets from @lindsaykap about a listing in Wappingers Falls, New York, and we feel compelled to pass it along to the universe. On its face, the $2.8M listing for 126 Old Hopewell Rd. looks like a fairly straightforward mansion in the woods.

Overhead Wappinger
Overhead view of the home

Looking at the first images from the listing, the interior doesn’t seem all that unusual. The living room has a column that doesn’t support anything, but whatever. The kitchen is pretty nice. There’s an indoor pool which includes a Teppanyaki grill, which we’ve just learned is not the same as a Hibachi grill. For an explanation of the differences from the good people at Benihana, click here.

Wappinger Living
Living room
Wappinger Kitchen
The kitchen
Wappinger Pool
Indoor pool and Teppanyaki Grill

The finishes are a little less impressive than you might expect for a home at this price point, with a ton of carpeting and some tile selections that look like they came from a chain store. The bedroom pictured below has an odd condition, with a shower that apparently has no door behind the glass block. with the rest of the bathroom seemingly open to the room. We’re guessing the toilet has its own room with a door, but we can’t tell for sure from the photos.

Wappinger Bed
Bedroom with a weird bathroom

The home comes with a fully functioning recording studio and more drum sets than even the Allman Brothers Band would know what to do with. There’s also a game room, complete with a stage, a sound system, and somehow another drum kit. We can’t speak to whether the casino table games come with the home or not.

Wappinger Drums
So many drum kits
Wappinger Table
Casino table games

The piece de resistance of the home is also its biggest wtf feature:

Wappinger Oval
Hail to the chief!

Yeah, it’s a replica of the Oval Office (2/3 size, per the listing), from when Bill Clinton was president. We seriously can’t make this stuff up. So if you find yourself in that neck of the woods (literally), try to take a tour and please report back as to whether you’ll be making an offer. It would certainly be less expensive than running for president.